its been a while.

 

After such a long period of being unable to update this blog, i finally took the initiative of doing so.

So basically my dad went to china about around July and came back last week, and well perhaps all I can say was that during ordeal of his absence, I felt happier.I felt myself opening up a little more to people around me.

But when then came back last week... well I guess i became the same person I originally was again, sadly. Truthfully i thought i had forgiven him of all he’s done to me.My father, that is. Apparently not.For some reason everything I do feels inferior and meaningless to him, and for every explanation I come up with is mere excuses to him.Then what am I, or what role shall be my very purpose of existence in his “perfectly” significant life?

Quite frankly, he always criticizes me for being quiet and not wanting to communicate properly to the family members and that i act “As if the whole world steps on your tail”.Isn’t it so?.He never really communicates well to me either ways. That’s why I call him a hypocrite and a failure of a father.A failure to even understand his son, to care enough for him and to provide enough mental support.I feel like Faramir to Denethor.

Despite the frequently spammed advice of being “dude he’s your dad” from friends,Fuck him anyways. I’m sincerely grateful he’s running off back to china again tomorrow and I hope he wouldn’t come back again for as long as he possibly could.

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