Dear diffidence… I hate you too.

 

To some people, diffidence needs a piece of its presence within a character, to display simple acts of humility but for me rather I consider it a fairly large hindrance within propagations of my daily activities.Maybe because of it’s solidly embedded within me. Perhaps it was the lack of a missing element that made me so acute and particular about what I do.Likely, it was the sea of rejection I’ve eaten,swallowed and suppressed within me.

Nevertheless I do not intend of blaming humanity’s utter selfishness and ignorance,for that is our nature.Simply enough, it’s likely always better to suppress oppression's ugly head and severe its pain alone.Well at least.For me.

I’ve been pushing myself hard to eliminate my bad habits of blurting out to try talking less, not to mention to reduce pestering others with my one-sided matters.After all, I should get used to it, especially after high school I'd likely live solitary roting with my age until my final voyage arrives.

Humans are not good entities to harbour such negativity, oppression and rejection.As for me, I’m trying to appreciate the much simpler things in life, and while my diffidence continue to haunt me, maybe I should force myself more into things for instance, my self engagement into football training.After last year, I’ve lost every little bit of what I used to want to be:good.Thus I hesitated, like a cowardice worst than the likes of women, just to decide whether or not I should join them.(them being the team)

Anyhow, this post would be most probably be another of my self-reflections/monologues again so whether you’re reading or not why should you care? well you shouldn't.Least I could do is pray there would be less versions of me out there, and society should be more considerate rejecting others.




/bullshit thread

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